


i just called to say that we are not never ever getting back together

by misura



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fade to Black, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 23:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13937571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "You made a sex-ed video and you didn't tell me?"





	i just called to say that we are not never ever getting back together

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Я позвонил сказать, что мы больше никогда-никогда не будем снова вместе](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511801) by [Rainy_Elliot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Elliot/pseuds/Rainy_Elliot)



Steve picked up on the second ring, which was - _good_ , Tony told himself. Great, in fact; it showed that appearances notwithstanding, Steve was still happy, nay, _eager_ to talk to him.

_Relationship bump? What relationship bump?_ Tony made a mental note to mention the picked-up-on-the-second-ring thing next time he talked to one of his therapists, aka his friends, aka those two people who lived in his home and always teamed up to make fun of his excellent ideas and taste in movies. (He was glad they got along so well, honestly he was.)

"Tony?" Steve asked, which wasn't quite the 'oh my God, I'm so happy you called me - I'm missing you like crazy so let's let bygones be bygones and get back together and have sex for a couple of days' Tony'd hoped for, but then, Steve could be subtle that way. Discretion, with a side helping of modesty, that was Steve.

Alternately, it might be that Steve was just Not That Into Him, which seemed unlikely. One thing to have a falling out over philosophical differences, aka 'your best friend killed my parents and you chose not to disclose this rather pertinent fact to me'; quite another thing to pass up on great sex and charming company, aka Tony Stark, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist.

Tony cleared his throat. In these types of conversations, it was important to start off on the right foot.

"You made a sex-ed video and you didn't tell me?" he said, adding a quick "Yes, hi," in case Steve was feeling like he needed to be policing Tony's manners and/or language. Again.

"You got engaged and you didn't tell me." Steve didn't make it sound like a question, which was fair enough.

"It was a PR thing," said Tony. "You know how these things work. I mean, c'mon. Like Pepper'd ever - well." She'd probably make someone a _great_ girlfriend one day. Provided Tony couldn't find some way to keep her from leaving him. (It wasn't that he was needy, or even possessive. It was that Pepper was one of his favorite persons, and she deserved the best, and Tony intended to see to it that she got it. Him. Her. Whichever she preferred.)

"Right." Steve didn't sound wholly convinced, but he sounded convinced enough for Tony to decide to let it go and get back to more immediately relevant matters.

"So about that sex-ed video."

"It was a PR thing," Steve said. "You know how these things work. I did a whole bunch of them."

"Really." Tony reached for his keyboard. "A whole bunch?"

"Videos for school kids," Steve said. "Not - why are you even bringing this up now?"

"I just found out about it." To mention Teenage Longlegs or not to mention Teenage Longlegs. "By accident. Obviously, I was intrigued." Time enough to bring up the whole 'so I may have sort of adopted a teenage super hero, except not really' thing later.

"It's nothing special. Just basic stuff," Steve said. "And I gave you this phone to use when you needed me, not - "

"I need you," Tony said promptly. "I want you. When I lie awake at night, I think of you when I touch myself."

Steve breathed in sharply, and said, " _Tony_ ," half like he disapproved and half like he really, really didn't. The usual mixed messages, really, not that Tony hadn't gotten good at filtering out the bits he _didn't_ want to hear over the weeks, months, years they'd known each other.

In hindsight, perhaps that hadn't been the smartest thing to do. Maybe he should have started a few more arguments early on. If nothing else, he'd probably have enjoyed the make-up sex, after.

"So I was thinking, phone sex?" Tony said. "I'm game if you are."

"What about - " Steve cut himself off, which was good. Tony couldn't think of a whole lot of endings to that question that wouldn't have ruined the mood. _Bucky, your parents, my status as a fugitive, your status as a screw-up, the safety of the world, the Raft_ \- take your pick.

"Not alone? Can't talk dirty right now?" Tony asked. "Give it to me straight, Rogers. Don't be a tease."

Steve chuckled, and Tony mentally high-fived himself, because that was definitely the sound of someone getting sort of, kind of laid tonight, in a not wholly physical kind of way. (Tony's imagination was good - hell, Tony's imagination was _fantastic_ , but Steve was Steve, and once you'd had the real thing, nothing quite compared to it, after.)

"That's not what you said last time I was being a tease."

"Compromised judgment," Tony said quickly. "Heat of passion, that sort of thing."

Steve was silent for a few moments. Taking something off, possibly - Tony's imagination was capable of picturing that much, at least. "There's some stuff we should really talk about."

Tony's imagination, alas, had been a little too optimistic. "So next time, you call me, and we can talk to your heart's content. Let it all out. No stone unturned, and all that. My call, my choice. You don't like it, you know what to do."

Steve sighed. Tony breathed in relief. In his experience, a Steve who sighed was not a Steve about to stop answering the phone. "I shouldn't."

Tony did a quick search for Captain America sex-ed videos, just in case there _were_ more of them out there. "Fine. I admit it. You were right. I do love it when you're being a tease." Seen it, seen it, seen it. Pity. "Just so we're clear, that _is_ what's going on here, isn't it? So I know we're on the same page."

"I don't know how you talk me into these kinds of things," Steve said.

"Charms, wit, intelligence, stunning good looks, any or all of the above," said Tony. "Also, I'm rich, but I like to think that doesn't really matter to you, because you only want me for my body."

"I do only want you for your body," Steve said.

"You're cute when you lie," Tony said. "And same here, obviously. I mean, have you seen you? I'm assuming yes, by the way, but still. I'm just saying."


End file.
